Being vegan in a non-vegan world means that we all have made experiences with the challenge of having relationships with non-vegan people. Especially in close relationships, the difference in awareness and ethics can become a huge problem.
But what about professional relationships? Most of the time these tend to be more superficial and goal-oriented, meaning that you only discuss things related to your work together. Whether it’s a co-worker, a teacher, or a client – their private life and personal values usually don’t impact your relationship with them.
However, the relationship with a counsellor is already different because the very nature of the work means talking about a client’s most personal aspect of their life: their emotions.
Some vegans don’t feel they require their counsellor to be vegan, and that’s okay. Different people have different needs. However, even among vegans, there seems to be a lack of understanding and respect for people who are looking for a vegan counsellor. In my own search I’ve come across quite a number of forums where people asked “Why?” when someone was looking for recommendations. I’ve tried this myself in a vegan Facebook group and the first comment I got was: “Why on earth would that matter?” And immediately somebody else replied: “It depends on the type of therapist you’re looking for – if it’s a nutritionist it can make sense...”
I was left feeling discriminated by people who I thought would surely understand. The pressure to fit into a non-vegan world and see non-veganism as the normal state of things is extremely high – so high that even vegans expect this of other vegans!
If you’re looking for proof of how pathologised vegans still are in our society, search no further.
I’m going to ask a (bit of a provoking) counter-question to cut through the gaslighting: Why would I, as a vegan, want to trust someone with my soul and mind, with my deepest emotions and all aspects of my life, who eats animals and supports their abuse?
It is true that a good counsellor should be able to empathise with any client, even if they have different values and background. But this supposition doesn’t take conditioning into account. Counsellors are only human after all and like everybody else they have been raised in a speciesist world. They can’t just take of the lenses of speciesism and carnism – which defines the very foundations of our society – for the benefit of their client. Most vegans know for themselves how long and painful the process of getting out of the brainwash can be.
My point is: It shouldn’t come as a surprise that a vegan is looking for a vegan counsellor.
Would people be surprised if a woman searched for a female counsellor or a man for a male counsellor? Or if a black woman searched for a black female counsellor? If they don’t, that’s just as well. But why shouldn’t they?
When I first started looking for a counsellor, I didn’t initially think that they needed to be vegan for me to able to work with them. However, after a week of searching or so, I had a nightmare about animal abuse. Given that this is an area for which I need trauma healing as well (as many more vegans might: see Clare Mann’s vystopia or Shiri Raz’s vegan’s trauma), I immediately realised the next day that I wouldn’t be able to trust someone with my deepest wounds and my whole being, if they weren’t vegan.
I soon learned that counsellors don’t tend to share about their personal lives, particularly not about something as controversial as being vegan. Even calling themselves “vegan-allied” is something that you’ll find much less than counsellors who proudly announce that they are allied to LGBTQ+, BIPOC, or other persons pertaining to minority groups.
There is an article on plantbasednews.com from 2019 which mentions the newly-founded Vegan Therapy Network to help people in the UK find a new counsellor. I received one or two referrals from here, but as it had only been launched and its scope was very general (including nutritionists, coaches, and physiotherapists), there weren’t many counsellors connected to it. Sadly it already was discontinued in 2020 – the Facebook page is an internet ghost and the website doesn’t exist any more.
The only other things close to a vegan counsellor directory are a list compiled by USA-based Kat Love (though at least for the UK-based counsellors, some actually turned out to be vegetarian), the short list of “therapists sensitive to animal activist issues” (so not necessarily vegan) by In Defense Of Animals, and the couple of psychotherapists on the plant-based health professionals’ list of allied health professionals. In a similar vein runs the “vegan-allied” community/client focus that you can find on the profiles of some counsellors on Psychology Today. Sadly this has not been elevated to a search-filter, which is just another reminder of how low on the scale of main stream importance vegans are placed (for comparison: you can filter search results for ethnicity, sexuality, and faith focus).
It means that you have to go through each and every profile (maybe with some filters in place), just to check if they are vegan-allied.
Given this state of affairs (and as I wasn’t aware of all of the options listed above in the past), I soon took to asking counsellors who fulfilled my other requirements whether they happened to be vegan. It’s not a task I’d wish on others. Imagine what the outcome would be if you randomly knocked on people’s doors, asking them if they are vegan. I’m sad to have to report that a lot of counsellors reacted in a pretty unprofessional way.
Many fell into the stereotypical categories of prejudiced non-vegans when being faced with veganism – there are those who feel attacked just by someone mentioning they are vegan and immediately start to justify themselves. Then there are those who think that you’re being arrogant. “We can offer you trauma-support, but you’d have to allow non-vegan people to help you,” is one of the replies that I got.
Then there are the “I’m not vegan, nor vegetarian, but I’m an animal lover!”-hypocrites. Closely related are the people who are so insensitive and ignorant that they’ll tell you “I’m not vegan, nor vegetarian, but I’ve stopped eating red meat!” and then offer your their services, clearly under the illusion that they’ve done well enough (these were definitely the worst replies that I got).
Then there are those who are so confused by the question that they cannot (or don’t want to) answer it. Some of them openly asked me why the counsellor should be vegan or what it has to do with counselling. Just the other day, as I’m searching for a vegan counsellor for the second time, I got a reply by a counselling service where they asked me to clarify what I mean by a vegan counsellor. That the counsellor is vegan themselves? And another one even was amused: “Could you enlighten me as to why the counsellor would have to be vegan?”
I didn’t bother to answer any of those questions.
By far the greatest category though has been the one of counsellors who just downright ignored my question whether they are vegan or know of a vegan counsellor. They happily told me that they have experience in the areas I mentioned and invited me to a first consultation. Or they recommended another counsellor who has the necessary experience, who also isn’t vegan. Once I asked a vegan counsellor why she recommended a non-vegan colleague to me, when I clearly had stated what I was looking for. She replied saying that “it did not matter, because she was the supervisor of said colleague and she would guide her work with me”.
It probably isn’t surprising that a marginalised ethical framework such as veganism is invisible in the eyes of non-vegans, even if someone names this as a requirement. Ignoring is one of the most-used (and one of the most painful) methods of oppression. Repeatedly asking for inclusion or provision of needs and this falling onto deaf ears is an experience that every (aware) member of a discriminated group will be able to tell you about in great detail – along with just how angry it makes them.
This kind of treatment expresses the greatest amount of disdain, as it refuses to even acknowledge the existence of your voice.
It’s very belittling in that way. And not only does it invalidate your needs (just as someone asking why a counsellor would have to be vegan or saying that this shouldn’t matter), it goes further by actually erasing the mere existence of your needs within the conversation.
You’d think counsellors would be the people who are good at listening and accepting other people’s needs. But sadly the counsellor world also has its narcissists, abusers, charlatans, hypocrites, and just plain bad counsellors.
All of that being said, I also got a lot of decent, kind, and professional replies, where counsellors just answered my questions with no judgment or making assumptions. There were even a few who commended me for knowing exactly what I wanted and being upfront and honest about that. After all of those prejudiced replies, this felt like balm for my soul.
And thankfully there are vegan counsellors – quite a number of them, actually. It’s just way too difficult to find them.
Among them, not all were professional or ethical either. There actually was one that I complained about to the BACP for unprofessional conduct (a ridiculously lengthy and stressful process – I complained in February and now, at the end of June, there’s still no decision made). And of course, just because a counsellor is vegan and fulfils all of your other requirements, still doesn’t mean that they’re a good fit. After all making sure that you “click” with your counsellor is the single most important thing in therapy.
It’s particularly difficult if additionally you’re looking for someone who has experience in an expert field, like me with a Dissociative Identity. It’s hard enough to find a counsellor who knows what that means, let alone have experience with such clients. And as many other people with a Dissociative Identity, I need more than just one session per week.
When I’m in crisis, I could very well do with four sessions per week.
It is extremely difficult however, just to find someone who has the availability for two sessions. And let’s not forget about the costs of counselling! If you happen to be in financial distress, like me, well then…
Things got so bad that I’ve tried reaching out to larger organisations like the Counselling Directory, BACP, or ISSTD as well as Facebook groups for counsellors, to ask them if they could ask their members if there’s someone vegan. Most weren’t willing to help, due to data protection (of me?). The Counselling Directory did ask in their FB group, but I only got one response – from a vegetarian, who eats a lot of vegan food….
Otherwise, no responses. Right now I’m back to going through Psychology Today and asking at some low cost counselling services.
So if you’re out there struggling to find a vegan counsellor – you’re not alone.
In my search I’ve come across a few places where other people complained about how difficult it was and how annoyed they were at “vegan-allied” being the best statement they could find. There are others who are just as fed up with the system, for similar reasons. If you feel like giving up – I absolutely understand. I’ve been there so many times.
But I always continued, because I know I deserve what I need. I’m not going to stop searching for that, because nothing else will help me. My needs are not negotiable.
If you could use some help – as part of my second time searching for a vegan counsellor, I’ve compiled a list of counsellors who confirmed to me that they are vegan and who have behaved professionally in their correspondence with me. At the moment it’s not terribly long list, but be mindful that I already filtered out a lot of people before writing to them to ensure that they fit my personal criteria. These would of course be very different for other people, for example my list only contains female counsellors, and most of them are based in the UK. However, I decided to post the list on my blog (you can find it in the menu). If you know of any vegan counsellors you’d like to recommend, feel free to contact me.
If you happen to be a vegan counsellor and would like to be on the list, please contact me. You might also consider mentioning you’re vegan or vegan-allied on your website or profile.
There already are a few who do this, but the world definitely needs more.
A lot of vegans would be eternally grateful.
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